Good Intentions Part II

So today I did make dinner for a good friend and her family.  Her dad passed away yesterday.  I got the phone call from the Compassionate Service Leader around 8:30 and decided what I wanted to do.  I was thinking about it all day.  I went to the store around 1 and got started cooking about 2.  I was in the kitchen from 2-5 when I took the dinner over to them.  I made a TON of Baked Rigatoni-our family Baked Ziti recipe but our store never has Ziti.  I always over plan, over buy and over cook so I end up being able to feed lots more than what I need to.  I had to feed about 25 people for my friend and then my family but I ended up with enough to feed all of them, all of us, our neighbor family of 4 and a lady I visit teach and her husband.  Here's the thing-in all the time I spent thinking about what I needed to do, how much I needed to buyand then cooking and trying to decide who to take the extra to, she-who-must-not-be-named never once entered my mind UNTIL I am at the door of our neighbor's  house with pasta in hand pushing THEIR doorbell.  I don't get it.  I just don't know what I am supposed to do here.  When I told my husband he was thoughtful but then I told him this. I said that I had been thinking that I needed to take her dinner a few times but I had also been thinking what I was going to say when I did.  This is what I decided.  When she opens the door I will hand her the pan of food and say "I am trying really hard not to hate you so I brought you dinner.  Have a nice night."  After telling my husband that part he told me that maybe that was not the best thing to say and since that is what I wanted to say, maybe my good intentions would not be accepted.  Ok good point.  I guess when I have something nice to say then I will be prompted to take her dinner and actually be able to follow through on it. 

Good Intentions

Hmm interesting conundrum.
Last month after "the incident" was over but before we went to court I was struggling mightily with my feelings of anger and offendedness.  I just could not believe that someone who "supposedly" believed the same things I did  and was trying to raise their children the same way I want to could be so cruel and vengeful and vicious. I felt betrayed and hurt and really really P.Oed.    In an effort to combat those feelings and thinking to be more like the Savior and consequently act like He would, I listened to Sheri Dew's book on tape "If Life Were Easy It Wouldn't Be Hard".  One of the stories she tells is how one day when she was in a Stake RS Presidency they had a meeting.  For some reason she got on her ear about something and went off.  She said "I climbed up on my own Rameumptom and let them have it" or something like that.  She said that she stormed out of the meeting and went to work of course feeling terrible about her behavior but thinking all day that she needed to apologize in person.  So after work she went home and as she was getting ready to go back out to apologize her doorbell rang and there stood the other women from the presidency "with casseroles in hand, the mothers of 12 kids between them, bringing me, the mother of none, dinner".  She said that they said to her  "Sheri, this morning was just not like you.  You must be under alot of stress.  We thought that dinner might help you feel better."  So for weeks I thought that to stem the tide of angry feelings toward this woman who did so much to offend us, that I would take her dinner.  At the time her husband was deployed and I thought that dinner might make both of us feel better even if it did nothing to change her heart or the situation, maybe it would help heal mine.  I did not do it mostly because I thought that she might think that I was trying to "butter her up" or manipulate her.  I kept thinking that I really should do it but that the best time would be after the whole thing was over.  My plan was seriously to come home that afternoon after getting our "punishment" and make her dinner.  Well that got shot right out of the water because of the terror and trauma that Connor went though that afternoon and the previous 3 weeks of abject Hell our family went through.  I was angry all over again.  I had tried really hard to get rid of those bad feelings through fasting and prayer and reading my scriptures and listening to Sheri Dew and the Motabs and I thought I was doing OK until that afternoon.  So needless to say I did not take her dinner.  It has been another 3 weeks since that horrible day (which by the way amounted to nothing because the decent people in charge saw the ludicrousness of the whole situation and closed and dismissed the case) and I have been angry.  We were so disappointed and offended at how wrong the whole situation was on so many levels and how some of our purported advocates were the exact opposite, that these feelings were just  bubbling and stewing and roiling around in us.  Well again I thought enough was enough and I had to DO something to help me deal with this.  Again I thought that I would make her dinner or bread or something.  Yesterday was the day.  I was going to do it.  I cleaned the house and washed bedding and cleaned the floors and in my mind thought that I would make dinner for her and maybe bread too.  By the middle of the afternoon my good intentions went byebye.  I started feeling sick and went to my room thinking that I would do it today.  Well I was sick all night until about 1am and then after I got Cayden to school this morning,I went back to bed until noon.  With dinner leftover from yesterday and roast left over from Sunday it just seemed a better idea to use what we had rather than make something new.  I just don't know what is in my way of putting this idea into action.  Maybe I am just not supposed to do this, for either of us. I really want to forgive and accept and understand and be a better person but this has been beyond anything we have had to deal with mostly because it is so personal and our accuser lives around the corner. I don't know, maybe my good intentions will make up for my lack of action.

No More Brace Face

Caleb FINALLY got his braces off on Wednesday January 25.  Poor kid-he has had them on for 34 months.  Way longer than the original estimate of 26 months.  He was so happy!  Don took him to St. George that day to get them off and they put on a permanent retainer on the bottom and took molds for his upper retainer.  I took him back to St. George on Friday to get the retainer.  He was a happy camper!

Reverse

Cody got asked to Reverse back in December.  The date was January 22.  The school cancelled the actual dance do to lack of attendance and the cost of it but a ton of kids went ahead and did the date anyway.

----Sidenote-I have not been happy with the Student Council this year because they keep changing things.  For instance "Formal" Homecoming (which has always been no formal date so no formal dress) was instituted so no Winter Formal-thanks for the notice. And now they canceled the Reverse dance part.  I am hearing strange rumors about Prom too.  It is weird anyway though because when I was in high school there was practically a dance every month.  Homecoming, Sadie Hawkins, Winter Ball, Morp, Reverse, Prom and one more that I can't remember the name of.  Down here there are 4 but without Winter Formal there is only 3 and there is only 1 girls choice. Whatever.  I digress.

The girl who asked Cody is Alyssa Zerkle.  She is a doll!  She asked him by covering the car in streamers of crepe paper and filling it with tons of shredded paper and little notes.  No I did not get a picture.  Cody had to pull it off to be able to see to drive.  Bummer.  Cody answered her by getting a pinata and hanging it in her courtyard with the answer inside.  Again no picture.  The day of the dance each couple had a matching shirt.  They went to Mesquite to the roller rink and to Roberto's Taco Shop for lunch then to the store to get the stuff to make calzones.  They made the calzones at Ms. Hardy's house-one of the teachers at school and an aunt of one of the girls.  After calzones they went to Jessany's house to play Just Dance and other video games and I think they had dessert.  Cody can correct any inaccurate info.  This is the best I can remember.  There are lots of pictures of the date tagged to Cody on Facebook but this is all the pics I got.

My Beautiful Bountiful Basket

The basket for January 22 was so very colorful.  Sometimes it seems it just is full of green but this time there were lemons, apples, pears, tomatoes, broccoli, spinach, asparagus, grapefruit, bananas and the purple thing is Salad Savoy-very pretty and very much like cabbage.

Stuff It

This is not Cody barfing.

Cody and Grandma

This is what I always get-Crusted Chicken Romano

Cayden's Reese's Cheesecake

My son loves me sometimes.

Caleb had a burger the size of his head.

That is ourselves I mean.  After we picked up Granddaddy at the airport Friday night January 21 we needed to eat.  Cheesecake Factory was a delightful choice and we have never eaten that late in our lives.   We did not get there until after 9pm and did not finish until after 10.  We had delish crab cakes and of course our entrees and made ourselves ill with cheesecake.  Cody got the White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle,  I got my usual Adams Peanut Butter Ripple (no it's not named  after us but it could be), Caleb got plain cheesecake-hello? plain? in this place? anyway Cadyen got Reese's Peanut Butter something and Grandma Penny got her new favorite Chocolate Coconut Cream.  Way too much food.  Way too much money.  But lots of fun. 

I Am So Glad That There are Nice People Around..

who restore my faith in the goodness and kindness of others and who look for and find the good in my kids.  On Thursday  night January 20 Connor was doing his usual neighborhood rounds when he saw that a lady that had recently moved into our neighborhood was back in town.  He stopped over to talk to her and told her that had kept an eye on her house while she was away.  She told him how glad she was to see him, that she had been thinking about him over Christmas and so she made him this quilt and gave him a pocketknife set.  She told him thanks for watching over her house and that she missed him.  Connor rode home on his bike but he could have flown!  He ran in the house and straight to my room to show me.  The smile on his face was huge and he was so happy.  This kid has a hard time recognizing his own feelings but this time he felt loved, accepted, and happy.  (I would really like to put something like *% ^%$#@@) to the hag around the corner who only sees the bad in everyone but especially my son but I won't)  :)